Where can I find men’s velvet slippers?

It's a question I've been asking myself as well. So I've done a bit of research, and unfortunately, the answer seems to be: not anywhere cheap. I know that last year, H&M had them, in black and midnight blue velvet at different times (black pictured at right), and they were in the area of $35-40. And I foolishly, in a fit of parsimony, returned the ones I bought back then, so of course this year, I haven't been able to find them (although you may want to contact your largest local store just to be sure). This has left me to scour the online marketplace, and the results are decidedly unfriendly to the wallet. However, here's what I've found, in ascending order of price.

Church's, Embroidered Crown, £110
or £91.67 (approx. $145 US) if shipped outside the UK; available in black, but out of stock as of this writing

Church's is a venerable English shoemaker, now owned by Prada. Too bad these are out of stock right now - it's the best price I've found, and considering the heritage of this brand, I'd consider these a bargain (which is probably why they're sold out).

Herring Shoes, Embroidered Coat of Arms, £135
or £112.50 (approx. $180 US) if shipped outside the UK; available in seven colours; also available non-embroidered in navy, purple, and black (~$155 US)

Made in England, this is the house label of a UK online shoe retailer. Reasonably priced.

Brooks Brothers, Embroidered "BB" Monogram, $198
available in black; also available in non-embroidered black ($198) 

Made in England by Peal & Co. It's a shame that Brooks Brothers doesn't offer any other embroidered styles; using someone else's monogram is a bit gauche. I'd only recommend these if your initials are actually B.B.

Del Toro, Embroidered Skull and Bones, $215
available in navy, black; also available in non-embroidered navy, red, bottle green, and black ($270), logo-embroidered navy ($270) and black ($215), and custom styles ($295-$455)

Del Toro is new on the velvet-slipper scene, and has been getting a fair amount of publicity from The Wall Street Journal, Esquire, et al. Anytime somebody writes an article about velvet slippers, they're bound to be mentioned.

Shipton & Heneage, Various Embroidered Motifs, $255
available in five colours; also available in six non-embroidered colours ($215), several wraparound embroidered designs ($345), three monogram styles ($450), and four custom crest styles ($595)

Great selection, competitive prices. Enough said.

Stubbs & Wootton, Embroidered Heraldic Dolphins, $450
available in black; also available in a variety of seasonal colours and styles ($450) and numerous custom configurations (from $495)

Stubbs & Wootton is the name in velvet slippers. They carry a handful of seasonal designs, tending towards the irreverent (this heraldic dolphin is the most conservative). But they also offer an unparalleled custom range, allowing you to choose your material, colours, and embroidery style, with dozens of figural motifs ($495), three styles of machine-embroidered monogram ($600), and six styles of hand-embroidered monogram using silver or gold bullion thread ($900).

Ralph Lauren, Embroidered "RL" Monogram, $650
available in five different colour combinations; also available with a figural horse-and-rider motif in five colours ($650)

Again, the tackiness of someone else's monogram, but at three times the price. But they do use bullion thread, so if your initials are actually R.L., these'll save you $250 over the Stubbs & Wootton custom bullion monogram. Otherwise, just say no.

Barker Black, Embroidered Skull Logo, $825
available in black; also available in a silver-and-gold-bullion "skull and spade" motif embroidered on black ($825)

Are you an elitist brand-whore? Is your skull as vacant of brains as the ones embroidered on these slippers? Then look no further!